viernes, 16 de octubre de 2009

La desgracia de haber crecido pijo en los 80

Es lo que tiene, de verdad te lo digo, haber nacido pijo en los años 80. Que vas a un instituto de curas y tienes que hacerte pajas con sentimiento de culpa. Que tus padres te envían a Estados Unidos a estudiar en un College de prestigio y de uniforme para que aprendas inglés y el American Way of Life y lo único que te apetece hacer en ese pais de mierda es escuchar los greatest hits de Julio Iglesias - que te recuerdan con nostalgia a tu querida patria-. Que lo único que te apetece hacer en USA es pasearte con un descapotable por las mansiones chupiguays de Miami y relacionarte con los tuyos para poder hablar en cristiano. Que luego estudias ESADE con desgana, te mueres de asco en las clases, odias a tu hermano por ser más inteligente y hacer más carrera que tú y te das cuenta que en esta vida, para sobrevivir y hacer algo de provecho, lo mejor que puedes hacer es afiliarte al Partido Popular. Es en el partido donde te sientes a gusto porque vas a mítines en Benidorm - y conoces en persona a Julio, el de los greatest hits -. Es en el partido donde empiezas las public relations que te enseñaron en ESADE. Conoces a Piluca, Cuqui y Myrian la Estrecha, que son rubias y llevan bolsos de Vuiton de los de verdad, que les pirra drogarse y son guarrillas en la cama. Es entonces cuando empiezas a disfrutar de la vida y del poder. Del poder de que te den un cargo de mierda en un ayuntamiento de poca monta en el que tienes que lidiar con sociatas idos a menos y ecologistas que huelen mal. Un cargo de mierda que sabes que será tu trampolín. Te lo han prometido. Te lo prometió él, tu padrino, tu hombre. Lo adoras, te pone. Te da morbo pensar en él y te sientes mal porque de todo eres menos maricón.

Y cuando te das cuenta, han pasado los años, la economía ha jugado a tu favor y el sueldecillo del principio ha ido engordando al mismo tiempo que crecían los balnearios y los hoteles en los desiertos de la costa del Levante. Y llega el día que te presentan al President y te vas a cenar con él y sus amigos. Y váis juntos a los toros y a la inauguración de un hospital. Y un buen día va el President y te susurra al oído que le interesas, que eres joven, estás formado - te acuerdas de los curas cabrones - y vales para "esto" de la política. Te da un subidón que ya ni te acuerdas de la mierda que has tenido que comer todos estos años. Ya tienes el cargo que anhelabas.

Hasta que un día, de repente, todo se desmorona. Empiezan a hablar mal de tu pasado. Los periodistas te acechan y te joden con preguntas. Los amigos del President con los que ibas a los toros ya no responden al teléfono, tu hermano siente compasión por ti y te reprocha que no hayas sido más cauto en los negocios. "La política es muy cerda y tú eras muy joven cuando te metiste en esto", te dice, el muy soberbio. Sigues odiándolo. No entiendes por qué te está pasando esto. Por qué han dejado de confiar en ti, por qué todo lo que tenías se desvanece. Por qué, aunque te aferres a lo poco que te queda, ya nada se sostiene en pie.

Ricardo, soy Jonás, el antisistema, y este post va dedicado a ti. Es lo que tiene haber crecido pijo en los 80.

42 comentarios:

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Jonás, me ha encantado tu post! Directito al ojo del huracán. Me quedo con uno de los Greatest Hits de Julio: "de tanto querer ser tanto el primero.. viviendo de aplausos envueltos en sueños.. de tanto ocultar la verdad con mentiras.. engañé sin saber que era yo quién perdía.. hoy me toca llorar lo que siempre reía.."

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M'ha encantat!!

Ja m'extranyava que, davant d'això, et quedessis callat, Jonas. ;-)

S.

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